Psychic Hotline
Intro
Hello? Is this the psychic hotline?
Hell no! I’m not fine, oft I’m
Disinterested, thinking about rhythm and reason in my off time
I’ve stopped trying to figure life out, I’m not lying
Verse 1
I don’t know this dual personality
Who goes bursting out of me
It just goes to show your mentality
Your analogy of life was boxes of chocolates
It’s actually more like a tool box –
You get used lots of times, abused, lost
And screwed enough, just don’t screw it up
But if that’s how the shit shat out, you get that brown
Big crap while you stay full of shit that’s foul
Cut the chit-chat now, look at me like “H-h-how dare you!”
And then I’ll tear you a new one, I’d be scared too
They’ve got some real crazies out there – koo-koo, nuts
Coco for koo-koo puffs
The things they do now? Sickening!
But they need one more coat of grease and a peeled banana peel to out-slick me
Chorus
Hello? Is this the psychic hotline?
Hell no! I’m not fine, oft I’m
Disinterested, thinking about rhythm and reason in my off time
I’ve stopped trying to figure life out, I’m not lying
I’ve lost the needle in my side since I side with common people
But it’s embarrassing with them, rarely sharing the basic similarities
All unequal, often evil
Not half at 49%, not all that bad
Verse 2
But how much longer can I take shit?
If life was a bitch, by now, I would have raped it
Taken her naked to the basement
Asking from what end she wants to take it
While I tape it for my personal entertainment
And I’m educated, clever enough to sever and stuff the body in the cellar then to
Properly dispose of the not-pretty bodily remains responsibly
Afterwards, I would be…unremorseful
Believe the rumors, , their more true
More often than not, if I’m coming for you, I don’t knock, I’m going to walk into your dorm room
With you there or not, I’d scare the snot out suckers
Like the nightmare you thought I was
Unless you’re sleep deprived,
Each day you wake up is one less to be alive
So most of us need peace of mind
If I had any left, I’d give you a piece of mine
Sheesh! This guy’s crazy – who knows why he hasn’t dealt
With psychiatric help?
Verse 3
But not everything’s copacetic –
I can’t cope with headaches
As a youngling, I was jumping – missed the bed
Hit my head instead, the doctor then said
“I don’t know how the hell he isn’t dead”
That can’t be good like being in Momma’s bladder
As a baby while she cut embalmed cadavers
Is all of that the reason I’d bring a knife to a gunfight
And why you should run like the bitch you are to me
I’d split an arm or three, slit your arteries
Rip apart your feet and strip your heart for free
If you charge a fee, I’ve hardly need for man’s Smith n Wesson’s
I’ve done deeds more than myth and legends
Dark past, darker future since there is a
Chance of becoming an amateur janitor
With cleaning canisters
I’d be wiping my hienie while peeing urine slow
Allow me to polish this turd, my conscious disturbed
Damned if I clean turds in bowls, sanitizing urinals as a germaphobe
Bickering about degrees because there’s no
Assurance so, what the fuck did I earn it for?
When I lose it in the first degree, you’re in no
Position to listen in prison after asking me “What you’re in for?”
Fuck the chorus whore
“Hello? Is this the psychic hotline?”
Hell no! I’ve stopped trying
You don’t mind? It don’t matter
You don’t matter, I don’t mind
It’s only a matter of time before I take matters in my
Own hands, I’ve got some problems
But I’ve mentioned all of them
Oh, and my cock don’t fit the condoms I got
From my old man, so can
You buy lots of the ones I got
So I can get rid of all them?
Why? Why not? No? Damn!